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Further to my discussion with the PSAU @psyhigh @earlyclues

2 min read

I'd like to thank the Psychic Student Activist Union for arranging our discussion today.

To follow up: I can assure you that Elven food is entirely different from Fairy food. Fairy Food is a known hazard, often trapping the unsuspecting consumer in a sparkling land of eternal spring, perhaps with houses made of meat and gardens of melting ice cream and pickles. 

Unlike Fairy food, Elven food is merely the traditional product of a charming native people, some of whom I have made arrangements with in order to help distribute their important cultural legacy. This agreement was entered into entirely freely by both parties, with only slight use of the Skúli Ring of Bewilderment, which I recently acquired in a poker game.

Also no, FDA approval is not required, as Memlen Elven Cola™ is "100%" "natural."

As the Memlen machines have proven to be such a big hit, I will be personally overseeing the Elves as they refill the machines throughout the day. I will be doing this on a palanquin, borne on the shoulders of my executive Elf management team.

And again, please don't speak to the Elves as they fulfill their duty. It only makes them more uppity.

Best,

Dean Hammer