Skip to main content

The Orbital Learning Platform, Re-envisioned

3 min read

I was very pleased to unveil the initial design concepts for the New Havelka Orbital Learning Platform during an open house last night, and thrilled with the turnout and the interest the student body has been showing.

As many of you know, it has long been my desire to add an orbital component to our already superlative facilities here at Psychic High School. The student body’s desire for a zero-gravity learning experience has been clear for many years, and the bouncy houses we installed on campus for this purpose are nearing their end-of-life.

new havelka 1


These new designs really capture the spirit of Psyhigh’s move into the orbital sphere - a safe, multi-layered environment, where students can explore and discover at their own pace. Along with assorted themed recreation rooms, the Orbital Learning Platform includes floating hot tubs and pools, exclusive club rooms, foosball, ping pong, bowling, zero-gravity roller coasters, build-your-own zero-gravity sundae rooms, make-your-own zero-gravity pizza rooms, all-you-can-eat zero-gravity hot dog rooms, and more.

Indeed, it is a paradise where students can play all day and never work - where their minds can remain at their most relaxed - and productive!

new havelka 2


At the same time, the New Havelka Orbital Learning Platform provides a vital service that Psyhigh has been sorely in need of for some time - a way to more fully protect our valuable Intellectual Property. Most specifically, the trade secrets created by (and in the minds of) our students.

The value of assigning Arbitration in Space has long been known. The same aspects of inaccessibility that make control of space-based arbitration appealing can provide protection for the formulas, processes, designs, methods or compilations of information that arise in our students’ minds. These include conscious work-product while in class, but can extend to include their play and dream time as well.

new havelka 3


The new Psychic NDA that students will sign before arriving on the Orbital Learning Platform provides even more solidity to our educational relationship with our students. In it, any and all thoughts produced by our students, awake or asleep, belong to Psychic High School, in perpetuity. Thus, Psyhigh can fully own and protect the the methods and processes created by our students, knowingly or unknowingly, and erase them from the students’ memories as they are harvested.

As more time is spent on the Orbital Learning Platform, and students produce more and more valuable IP, it is true that vast portions of students' memories will be erased, eventually leading to a state of mindlessness which is irreversible. 

havekla 4


But where others may see a problem, I see the foundation of the next step in Psyhigh’s climb into the stars: providing a steady source of labor for our proposed mining operation on Ganymede!

However, first things first, and I very much look forward to moving the New Havelka Orbital Learning Platform to its next stage in development.

Thanks for your input. More than ever, our students are indeed our greatest resource.


Dean Hammer

Dean, Psychic High School


More information can be found on our website,